In 2013, Yen Tan experienced a profound loss when his dog Tanner died in his arms. Struggling to cope, he tried to find a film that could provide solace, but found none that truly resonated. This personal journey through grief became the driving force behind his latest film, All That We Love, which premiered at the 2024 Tribeca Festival. Tan’s heartfelt feature, inspired by his own life, delves into the complexities of loss, renewal, and the unexpected turns life can take.
The film opens with Emma, played by comedian and actor Margaret Cho, at a crossroads after the death of her family dog Tanner. This event sets off a chain reaction, forcing Emma to reevaluate her relationships and her place in the world. As she grapples with her grief, her best friend Stan (Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family) and her daughter Maggie (Alice Lee, Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist) also feel the impact of her emotional turmoil. To complicate matters, Emma’s ex-husband Andy (Kenneth Choi, The Wolf Of Wall Street) returns from Singapore, hoping to rekindle their relationship despite his struggle with alcoholism. This confluence of events leads to both heartfelt moments and comedic mishaps, as Emma struggles to find her footing.
Tan’s storytelling skillfully balances the sorrow of loss with the lightness of comedy. Emma’s journey is one of self-discovery and renewal, as she learns to let go of the past and embrace the future. The film doesn’t shy away from the pain of grief, but it also celebrates the resilience of the human spirit.
“I love that Yen’s film centers on an Asian-American woman, Emma, in a complicated moment in her life — the messiness of her family, the strength of her friendships, and her growing relationship with herself,” says Chris Quintos Cathcart, executive producer of the film and co-CEO of Unapologetic Projects, a film production company that recently produces the Oscar-Nominated Film Dìdi (弟弟). “At Unapologetic, we want all our characters to be as complex and lived in as white, straight characters have gotten to be for a long time.”
All That We Love is more than just a film about loss; it’s about letting go of the obsessive clinging to what we held dearly and learning to reconcile with one’s self.
Just like how the film ends when Emma spreads Tanner’s ashes and adopts a new dog, this delicate Buddhist message of detaching from what’s holding you in the material world is what makes All That We Love a memorable and resonant film.
This year's Tribeca Festival also showcases a strong Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) presence, featuring the award-winning films Some Rain Must Fall by Qiu Yang, "Bitterroot" by Vera Brunner-Sung, and "Made in Ethiopia" by Xinyan Yu.
Eastern Standard Times spoke with Tan about his inspiration for the film and his experience as a filmmaker.
Xintian Tina Wang:
Tell us more about you as a child. Were you passionate about films growing up? How is your family reacting to your filmmaker dreams coming true?
Yen Tan:
My parents started taking me to the cinemas in Malaysia at a very young age. My mother observed that I was always intensely focused on the screen. Unlike other kids, I was quiet and was never bored in the theatre. My family's been very supportive of this endeavor, and I think they're pleased that I'm able to pursue this in the U.S. I've been very fortunate to have parents who never frown upon me for wanting to go down a creative path.
Xintian Tina Wang:
As an AAPI filmmaker, how do your cultural backgrounds influence your storytelling, especially in All That We Love?
Yen Tan:
The film, despite a predominantly AAPI cast, and many AAPI crew members, doesn't really delve into AAPI themes. But the characters are aware of who they are. They may not talk about what it's like to be AAPI, but there are AAPI touches throughout the film that are informed by my background. The japchae Emma heats in the microwave; Emma excitedly claims "Asian!" when Stan tells her about dating a Filipino; Andy's occasional Singlish and acting in a popular Singaporean show during his stint there; Emma and Andy having a Singaporean/Malaysian lunch; or even Raven's mukbang video.
I wanted to be very nonchalant about these details and not feel like I had to explain them. You either get it or you don't.
Xintian Tina Wang:
All That We Love is deeply personal, inspired by your experience with loss. How did you channel your own grief and healing process into the film?
Yen Tan:
Many of the scenes in the film are directly lifted from my own experience with loss, but my healing process remains ongoing. I do believe that making a film about this subject matter helps me reflect more deeply on what I went through. I may not have healed like Emma in the film, but watching her heal gives me insight into how I can heal, too.
Xintian Tina Wang:
You've mentioned that the relationships with people around you deepened during your period of grief. How did this influence the development of the characters in the film, particularly Emma and Stan?
Yen Tan:
I realized that the film should start off showing us how Emma's relationships are more flawed or problematic. There's underlying tension with Stan, her daughter Maggie, and even at her workplace. There's also an unresolved past with her ex-husband Andy.
Emma's more unaware of herself at first and can be irrational, impulsive, and somewhat childish too. Over the course of the story, as she becomes more vulnerable while coming to terms with her grief, she's able to grow as a person and attempt to make amends.
Xintian Tina Wang:
Emma's character navigates a midlife awakening while dealing with grief. How did you approach writing and directing her character to ensure authenticity and relatability? What do you hope audiences take away from her journey?
Yen Tan:
I reflect on myself a lot and also on people I know. I think about my mom, my sister, and my aunts too. I want Emma to be relatable, but I also don't mind if she comes across as not the most reasonable person in the room. I'd like audiences to be reminded that people can change and evolve, even when they're in their mid-age.
Xintian Tina Wang:
The film ultimately celebrates resilience and the power of laughter in the face of adversity. How did you balance these elements to create a narrative that is both emotionally resonant and uplifting?
Yen Tan:
My life experiences so far have always been a mix of laughter and tears, even during my lowest points.
Humor is so necessary as a coping mechanism when I struggle through life. I try not to think about it as a balance to strive for when making the film. Rather, this was how it was for me when I experienced loss. I was tremendously sad, but I also recall laughing a lot. I don't think I can get through the toughest moments if I don't have a sense of humor to lean on.
Xintian Tina Wang:
Can you share any memorable moments or challenges from the writing and production process that stood out to you?
Yen Tan:
The script was initially written in 2013 after the death of my first dog Tanner. I never would have thought that I'd be making the film a decade later in 2023 right after I put down my second dog Tesla. That was hard, to be that raw again while reliving some of these scenes in production. Nevertheless, it's still a gift to be able to process grief in this manner. I like to joke that I was "method directing."
Xintian Tina Wang:
How has the film been received by audiences at the 2024 Tribeca Festival, particularly within the AAPI communities? What feedback or reactions from viewers have been the most meaningful to you?
Yen Tan:
We had a beautiful premiere at Tribeca. It's not just nice to see the cast and crew again, many of whom watched the finished film for the first time, but also share it with an audience and hear them laughing and crying. The most deeply felt reactions mostly came from pet lovers, but many people have shared their losses with me as well and I felt privileged that the film can give them some insight, or provide some comfort in a way.
I definitely love hearing from AAPI audiences, as they are the ones who will pick up on the AAPI touches/details in the film. It's also meaningful for them to see people like themselves rendered in this grounded, everyday life manner.
Xintian Tina Wang:
Reflecting on your journey with this film, what have you learned about yourself as a filmmaker and as a person?
Yen Tan:
I should always make films that come from the most personal place. It's my North Star. By doing so, I can grow as a person and have a greater understanding of my own experiences.
Xintian Tina Wang:
Are there any upcoming projects or stories you'd like to share with our audience?
Yen Tan:
There are various things in development that I'm not quite at a place to talk about yet, but I hope to make something new much sooner than the 10 years it took me to make All That We Love!